The Science of Thanksgiving

Brownian motion (brounēən ˈmōSHən)

1. The erratic random movement of microscopic particles in a fluid, as a result of continuous bombardment from molecules of the surrounding medium.

2. The activity of a crowd of middle-aged men calling home on their cellphones as they wander the aisles in Whole Foods on Thanksgiving morning.

(Note: You’d think there’d be a decent photograph of this common phenomenon, but it’s apparently classified information. If that Julian Assange fellow ever had to do his own shopping, you’d damn well bet there would be pictures of other people embarrassing themselves.)


I've got a dog. Used to have a fish.


You can post comments in this post.

  • Funny you should mention middle-aged men milling around in the produce aisle the day before Thanksgiving. I noticed the same phenomenon. It seemed our local Caraluzzi’s Market was positively swarming with older men holding grocery lists and looking confused but determined. Clearly, having to pick up last minute items so whomever was cooking at home could finish the recipe.

    Now I know what Brownian motion really looks like. Thanks, John!

    Hope you had lots of turkey and family time. And that Sydney got some leftovers.

    Dottie Mitchell Evans 7 years ago Reply

  • I’m going to take a pass on the “older” part, but that was essentially me at 7:30 Thanksgiving morning, myself. Turns out we had enough walnuts at home after all.

    Thanksgiving was lovely; two events, dinner was delightful. Sadly, no leftovers for the girl because we ate at friends’, but somehow I have a feeling we’ll make it up to her. Hope yours was wonderful as well!

    John 7 years ago Reply

Post A Reply